


Sandwich Day

by barbaXcarisi (barbaXbenson)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 09:06:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18808051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbaXbenson/pseuds/barbaXcarisi
Summary: Rafael leaned down, close to Rollins, and sniffed lightly. “Have you been eating pickles today, Detective Rollins?”“Is that something sexual? Pretty sure that's an HR violation.”Rafael smirked. “Deflecting with humor, I see.” He stood upright again, spinning on his heel to face Sonny. “You’ve been awfully quiet over there, Carisi. Guilty conscience?”“Nah.” Sonny held up his hands. “I just have no part of this. I only brought the cake.”“Yes, the cake,” Barba mused. “Perhaps you decided to take my beloved cubano as payment.”





	Sandwich Day

**Author's Note:**

> I've been doing a 30 Rock rewatch and this is what became of it. And as usual, PBB encouraged this nonsense.

“Okay, Carisi, you’re definitely in charge of all cakes from now on.” Olivia sighed with satisfaction, placing her empty paper plate and plastic fork on the table in front of her, eyeing the chocolate crumbs and wondering how undignified it would be to eat them in front of her squad. 

“I’ve been tellin’ you, Egidio’s is the best. You know, Mr. E and my dad went to school together and they cater every—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fin interrupted, “We just need the desserts, not the back story.”

Sonny frowned, but shoved a bite of cake in his mouth instead of responding.

Barba, perched on the edge of his desk, finishing up his own piece of cake, said nothing. He did agree that the cake was delicious, but this entire thing made him uncomfortable. The cake, the cheesy mylar balloons, the presence of the entire squad for no reason other than to celebrate his birthday. It was all weird. Not wholly unwelcome, but definitely not what he was used to.

He was saved from more bickering by all four detectives’ phones going off at the same time.

Olivia was first to read the screen. “Sorry, Rafa. We have to cut this short. Let’s roll guys.”

As they all rose, Rafael looked around at the discarded paper plates, the mostly finished cake, the crumbs that abounded. “Oh, no worries, I’ll clean up,” he tossed out sarcastically as they all made their way toward his door.

“You’re a peach,” Rollins patted his cheek on her way by. “Thanks.”

“Happy birthday,” Sonny, the last one out, said almost apologetically.

Rafael didn’t dwell on it. The mess could wait. His cubano, the special one that Carmen went to Bronx to get him every year on his birthday, was on the corner of his desk calling his name.

He would go to his mother’s this Sunday, where she’d make him a Cuban feast in honor of his birthday, and it would be delicious, but it wouldn’t be the cuban sandwich from Havana Cafe. His mother had no idea of course, that it was what Rafael looked forward to the most about his birthday, and it was a secret he would take to his grave.

He’d been just starting to unwrap this year’s sandwich when the squad had dropped in with the impromptu birthday celebration. It was only out of extreme pride that he hadn’t whimpered at the thought of having to delay his favorite moment of the year.

But no longer. Now it was time. Even cold it was still be amazing. And he couldn’t wait. He even thought about locking the door so there would be no interruptions this time. That was ridiculous of course. It was just a sandwich. 

And it was gone. 

Rafael shuffled the papers around his desk, just in case it had gotten covered somehow. He checked his drawers and the floor, even his trash can. It was nowhere to be found.

His jaw clenched, Rafael narrowed his eyes at his office door where the squad had just departed. Which one of them had stolen it?

* * *

Olivia sighed with exhaustion as she returned to her office. It had been such a long day and all she wanted to do was grab her stuff and get home to Noah. 

She flicked her light on and let out a scream that was frankly beneath that of a police lieutenant, but managed to have the wherewithal to reach for her weapon. “Jesus, Barba! What the hell are you doing sitting in my office in the dark? I could have shot you.”

“Which one of you took it?”

“What are you talking about?”

“My sandwich.”

"Sandwich? What sandwich?”

“My cubano. It was on my desk when you all arrived, it was gone when you left.”

“Look,” Olivia ran a hand over her tired eyes, moving behind her desk to start to pack up her laptop and files. “I’m really tired and I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but if I give you money to buy a new sandwich, will you go away?”

“It’s not about the money. I didn’t even buy it.”

“Then what the hell are you—”

Rafael ignored her, moving to the door to stick his head out. “Can you three come in here, please?”

“Little late for you to be here, isn’t it?” Fin asked as he walked by Barba and into Olivia’s office.

“This really how you’re celebrating your birthday? You gotta get a life, man.” Rollins advised.

Carisi, unusually silent, just followed them in.

The three of them perched around the room - Fin kicked back on the couch, Rollins slouched in one of Olivia’s visitor’s chairs, and Carisi leaned back on the observation window, his hands propped on the frame. 

“Now,” Rafael began, walking the length of the office, his hands behind his back. “Earlier today, at approximately two fifteen pm, the four of you entered my office.”

“Barba, you can’t possibly be serious.”

Rafael only shot her a look. She sighed and rolled her eyes, dropping into her chair. He continued.

“Now, as you entered my office, uninvited I might add, I was beginning to unwrap the most delectable cubano to be found in the city. I had to put the sandwich aside to participate in your little celebration.”

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Rollins huffed, her arms crossed.

He ignored her. “When such celebration ended, and you all left me to clean up the mess you’d made. My sandwich was gone. I only left the office once, when Carmen called me out to review the Kellerman brief. I assume that’s when the deed was done.

“So, it’s simple. Which one of you did it?”

“Man, are you serious?” Fin scoffed. “I just put in a twelve hour day. I’m not gonna hang around for this Hardy Boys bullshit.”

“Seems like someone who didn’t do it would want to stick around and prove his innocence.”

“Do you realize where you are? What we do here? Your baiting tactics won’t work on me,” Fin countered.

“I know it was one of you. Just fess up and you can all go home.”

“Like you can actually keep us here.”

Rafael leaned down, close to Rollins, and sniffed lightly. “Have you been eating pickles today, Detective Rollins?”

“Is that something sexual? Pretty sure that's an HR violation.”

Rafael smirked. “Deflecting with humor, I see.” He stood upright again, spinning on his heel to face Sonny. “You’ve been awfully quiet over there, Carisi. Guilty conscience?”

“Nah.” Sonny held up his hands. “I just have no part of this. I only brought the cake.” 

“Yes, the cake,” Barba mused. “Perhaps you decided to take my beloved cubano as payment.”

“Seriously? I didn’t even pay for that cake. Like I said the Egidios and my family go way back. They always—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Barba waved him off. He turned his gaze on Olivia, who’d decided to take the chance to work on some paperwork while this ridiculous charade was taking place. “Maybe it was you, their leader. Maybe you orchestrated the whole thing. You and Carmen are friendly. Maybe she told you about the sandwich. Maybe you decided to throw me a party just so you could infiltrate my office.”

Olivia looked up at him over the rim of her glasses. “That’s a lot of maybes, Counselor. And besides, It wasn’t even my idea to give you a party. It was—”

“Look, Barba,” Carisi interrupted. “None of us took your sandwich, okay? Why would we do that?”

“Why? Why? Maybe because it’s the greatest sandwich to ever exist and you couldn’t resist its siren’s scent.”

“Siren’s scent? Is that even a thing?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He held up his hands. “One of you took it, and I want to know who.”

“You’ve lost your damn mind.” Fin stood. “Nobody took your sandwich.” With that he left the office and Barba knew better than to try and stop him.

“I’m sorry about your birthday sandwich, Rafael.” Olivia sounded genuine. “But some of us have children we need to get home to.” She pulled on her jacket and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Happy birthday.”

Rollins glared at him and followed her out.

“Sorry, Barba.” Sonny shrugged, pushing away from the window, and leaving Barba standing alone in Olivia’s office.

* * *

The next afternoon, even in the throes of preparing for the next day’s motion hearing, Rafael stewed about his stolen sandwich.

Carmen, having heard a full tirade on the subject, offered to go up to the Bronx to get him a replacement, but he’d told her no. That wasn’t the point. 

It wasn’t about the sandwich — okay, so it was a little bit. But it was just so good — it was about the principle. Carmen had taken time out of her day to do this nice thing for him and someone he trusted had taken it right out from under his nose. And on his birthday no less.

He was trying to tell himself for the twentieth time to just let it go, that it wasn’t worth the high blood pressure, when there was a light knock on his doorframe.

“Hey, Counselor.”

“Carisi.” Rafael eyed the paper bag in the detective’s hand. “Did we have an appointment?”

“Uh, no, I just wanted to bring this by.” Carisi sat the bag on Rafael’s desk. He knew the contents on scent alone.

Rafael hit him with a scorching look. “So it was you.”

“No. It wasn’t. I swear.” Carisi held up his hands.

“Then why?”

The detective shrugged. “Every year for my birthday, my ma makes me sfogliatella from scratch. Takes her hours and it’s the greatest thing you’ll ever eat. I know how upset I’d be if someone took it.”

“Oh, well, thanks.” Rafael was surprised at the gesture and still a little wary that he was being charmed by the enemy, but he picked up the bag nonetheless. As he did so, something occurred to him. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Sonny huffed in frustration. “No, I already told you that I didn’t—”

“No, not that. The party. Liv said that it wasn’t her idea. It was yours.”His cheeks turned a touch pink at that and Rafael didn’t know what to make of it. “Why?”

He shrugged again, putting his hands on the back of one of Barba’s chairs. “I just...I thought you deserved to have a nice birthday.” He cleared his throat and stood. “But anyway, I hope you enjoy the sandwich.”

Rafael pulled the foil wrapped cubano from the paper bag and paused a moment. “Hey, Carisi.”

Sonny paused at the door. “Yeah?”

“You want half?”


End file.
